


a donkey always says thank you with a kick

by monkeyingaround



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (bc hinata has anxiety in canon and i wanted to stay true to his character), Anxiety, Confessions, M/M, it's not rly the focus but it's There
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 08:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17158688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeyingaround/pseuds/monkeyingaround
Summary: Hinata's life is a constant struggle.(Feelings are hard, especially when your name is Hinata or Kageyama.)





	a donkey always says thank you with a kick

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas,  @headphone-love ! I'm sorry this is so late-- originally I had planned to write something for the Lovebug AU you wanted, but stuff came up and I had to change the story last minute. This story doesn't really match up to your prompts, I'm so sorry! I hope this canonverse KageHina is okay-- this is pretty much just Hinata being dumb (in general, but mostly about Kageyama). I really hope you like it!

Hinata Shouyou has a confession to make.

No, literally. Hinata is literally going to confess today, and he is so nervous that he thinks he might throw up.

(He already has. Twice.)

It’s kind of similar to his pre-match jitters, except that this is ten times worse and his hands have been clammy all day and he can’t go to the bathroom again because people are starting to look at him funny. There’s also the fact that his current opponent (opponent, love interest, same thing) is a lot stupider and a lot scarier and, just, a lot worse than his usual opponents on the court.

So it stands to reason that he’s been kind of spaced out all day. And if he’s flunked a math test because of it, well... well, okay, that’s usual fare for him, but if anyone asks (which they won’t), it was all Kageyama Tobio’s fault.

Stupid Kageyama, with his stupid tosses and his stupid hair and the stupid things he says. He’s dumb as rocks, and his voice is like a donkey’s bray (not that Hinata has ever actually heard a donkey bray), and he has the kind of face that shows up in small children’s nightmares. And _yet,_ for _some_ reason, Hinata kind of wants to kiss his dumb face. And hold his hand. And maybe try making out with him like people do on TV.

And it’s so fucking weird because the thought _should_ gross Hinata out but it _doesn’t_ , it just makes him feel all _gwaahhhh_ inside and he hates it but he also kind of really likes it. He kind of really likes _Kageyama_ , and it’s gotten to the point where he can’t get through practice without staring at Kageyama’s mouth. And it’s super distracting, and he’s taken one too many balls to the face over the past month, and it’s time for Kageyama to take responsibility for it.

The problem is that he’s very nervous and Kageyama is very scary and Kageyama is also very _stupid_. Hinata’s pretty sure a simple ‘I like you’ won’t cut it—if he even manages to get the words out. Kageyama’s probably never even thought about dating and kissing and stuff before.

The bigger problem is that Hinata’s not sure what he’s going to do if Kageyama rejects him. Or, worse, doesn’t want to be around him anymore. Kageyama’s dumb and all, but he’s Hinata’s best friend.

The bell rings and Hinata is _finally_ free to go and hole himself up in the bathroom again. He lets his feet carry him to the bathroom on autopilot as his thoughts start to wander again. They’re like a rowdy bunch of sheep, and he is the shepherd, trying to round them all up and drive them back into the back of his head, and—

“ _Ow!_ ”

He’s crashed into someone and fallen flat on his face, because of course he has. He scrambles to his feet, scattered apologies already halfway out of his mouth, before he registers who exactly is standing in front of him.

Oh, figures. Figures that the person that he’d crash into in the corridor while spacing out about his love interest is his love interest.

He’s going to die before the day ends, isn’t he.

Said love interest glares down at Hinata. “Watch where you’re going, dumbass.”

 _Right_ , never mind. Hinata doesn’t have a crush. Hinata has no crush. He scowls at Kageyama and dusts himself off. “ _You_ watch where you’re going, idiot!”

Kageyama hits him. “Are you kidding me,” he says, in that stupid donkey voice of his. “That was clearly your fault.”

“Was not,” Hinata returns peevishly, even though it totally was.

Kageyama rolls his eyes and straightens his uniform out. “Whatever,” he says, and his shirt shifts slightly at the top, revealing a little bit of his collarbone. “Don’t be late for practice.”

“You’re the one who’s going to be late for practice,” Hinata shoots back out of habit, but it’s a little weak because his eyes, the traitors, have decided to glue themselves to the stupid collarbone. Stupid collarbone peeking out from behind Kageyama’s shirt, and stupid hands shifting around the books in Kageyama’s arms, with their stupid perfect fingers.

...Right, so he does have a crush.

He must’ve been staring for too long, because Kageyama frowns. “Hey,” he says. “You’re being weird.”

“No, I’m not,” Hinata says quickly.

“You are.”

“I’m not!” Hinata glares at Kageyama, and then, hit by a sudden impulse, he does a thing. A stupid thing. “Hey, meet me behind the baseball pitch during lunch.”

Fuck, why’d he have to go say that?

Kageyama shrugs. “Okay.”

Fuck. Okay. This is happening. Oh god. “Cool,” Hinata says, throwing his best smile on. His voice possibly an octave higher than usual. “Okay. I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says, and starts to walk away. “Don’t be late for practice.”

“Yeah, sure,” Hinata replies, not entirely aware of what he’s saying. His mind is a million miles away. “Sure. Won’t be late.”

He doesn’t notice Kageyama glancing back at him over his shoulder, brow furrowed. He’s too busy hightailing it to the bathroom.

*****

 

“So,” says Kageyama.

“So,” says Hinata.

They stand in silence for a couple of minutes. Kageyama gazes vacantly into the distance, shifting his jaw side to side, slight scowl on his face. Hinata’s fingers clench and unclench behind his back and his eyes dart here and there, from the ground to the trees to Kageyama’s shoes. They’re standing by the baseball pitch, behind the fence, relatively hidden in the shadow of the baseball club room. Hinata has thrown up exactly four times today. He hopes it doesn’t show on his face.

It probably shows on his face.

“Say something,” Hinata finally mutters when the silence becomes too deafening.

“You say something.” Kageyama scuffs his foot against the ground like some kind of impatient mule. “You’re the one who called me here.”

Hinata swallows. “Yeah. I did.” He bites his lip and coughs. “I need to tell you something.”

Kageyama gazes at him, expectant.

“Um, I,” Hinata starts. _Say it. C’mon, say it, ‘I like you’, it’s that simple, just say it—_ “Um.” He’s sweating in earnest now, god, that’s so gross. “Um, Kageyama.”

“What?” Kageyama says, and there’s a bite to his voice now.

“Kageyama, I—I don’t hate you,” Hinata says, and okay, that is _not_ what he meant to say?

Kageyama narrows his eyes in that way he usually does when he doesn’t understand something (so like, on an hourly basis). “What?”

“You say ‘what’ so much, you’re so dumb,” Hinata says before he can think the better of it. Goddammit.

Kageyama gives him a menacing glare. “I swear, if that’s what you called me here to tell me,” he says threateningly.

Hinata scuffs his hand across the back of his head. “Well. No.”

“Then _what?_ ” Kageyama says loudly, looking more and more irritated by the second. His mouth twists and he’s scowling and it’s supposed to be ugly _but for some fucking reason Hinata doesn’t think it is!_

Kageyama stares at him. “What are you talking about.”

Oh. Apparently Hinata said that out loud. That’s just. Great.

Kageyama’s eyes somehow get even narrower. “Why are you acting so weird? And were you talking about my—”

“Mouth,” Hinata blurts. “Your mouth. Your stupid mouth, it’s, and, in practice, I keep, I can’t—” He’s aware that he’s babbling and his mind has screeched to a halt, and it’s like his traitor mouth has grown a mind of his own and _this is a complete disaster._

" _What_ ," Kageyama demands, "are you even talking about?"

"I wanna kiss you," Hinata blurts, because he’s just, he’s tired of having to hold this in, especially when stupid Kageyama keeps poking and prodding at it. He doesn’t like keeping secrets, doesn’t like not having everything out in the open, and especially with Kageyama, who may be dumb and annoying and scary but is still his _best friend._ "Stupid," he adds quickly, because Kageyama's jaw has dropped and Hinata's a bit afraid he might've actually sent Kageyama Tobio into catatonic shock.

Kageyama stares at Hinata, eyes vacant and jaw slack. Hinata fidgets and tugs at the collar of his shirt nervously.

There's a sudden, loud shout from the baseball pitch, and it snaps Kageyama back to reality. His eyebrows furrow, mouth twisting into the fiercest scowl Hinata’s ever seen, and Hinata digs his heels into the soil, preparing to run away as fast as he can because  _Kageyama is going to kill him dead._

But he doesn’t. Instead, Kageyama just stands there, stock still, scowl morphing into something less angry and more confused.

"You—" Kageyama’s voice cracks, and normally Hinata would laugh at him for it, but this is important. He can’t screw this up. He can just rib Kageyama about it later. If Kageyama still wants to be around him. Crap. Oh no.

Kageyama glances to the side like he’s trying to search for the right words. His mouth twists further. "You want to kiss me?"

Hinata nods, gut churning. He sends a quick prayer to the gods ( _Dear god, let me get through this without puking and I promise I’ll never steal Natsu’s eggs again_ ) and unclenches his jaw. "Um, yeah," he says, and musters up a grin. "I guess that's pretty weird, huh."

Kageyama goes on like Hinata hasn't even spoken. "You want to kiss  _me_?"

Hinata nods again. His palms are sweaty.

"But we're rivals, aren't we," Kageyama says.

"Yeah, but we're also best friends," Hinata reminds him. "Remember? That time when we were walking home from practice, and you said I was your best friend, and I said you were mine?"

"I remember," Kageyama says. "But are best friends... do best friends kiss?"

"I don't know," Hinata says, scratching the back of his neck. " Maybe? I guess it depends. Aone-san's best friend is Futakuchi-san and they kiss sometimes. But Tanaka-san and Noya-san are best friends too, and they don't."

"I guess it depends," Kageyama echoes. "But why do you... why would you...?”

"Because—" Hinata starts, and then cuts himself off as his cheeks redden. He bites his lip, rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. What’s he supposed to say to that? _Because whenever my mom and I watch those old timey romance movies I think about you?_

Kageyama's scowling again, shoulders stiff and posture rigid. Hinata just stares at him plaintively, willing Kageyama not to make him say it. His body is already buzzing with—adrenaline, anxiety, a feeling of dread deep in the pit of his stomach. His eyes fall shut and okay, that’s a bad idea, things are even scarier now, open, _open_ —

"Because what _?_ " Kageyama demands. "Because _what,_ Hinata?”

"Because you're pretty!" Hinata bursts out, eyes squeezed shut and hands balled into fists at his sides, and that’s not even true, Kageyama isn’t pretty, he’s dumb and ugly and— "Because you're pretty, and your mouth is pretty, and your hands are pretty, and you give me the best tosses—"

He clamps his mouth shut before he can cause any more damage—idiot, idiot, _idiot_ —and opens his eyes slowly, almost afraid to see the look on Kageyama's face—

Kageyama's  _blushing._

It's not really visible, just a slight pinkening of his cheeks, but Hinata has spent more time than he's willing to admit looking at Kageyama Tobio's stupid face, and he knows a blush when he sees one. Holy shit.

"You think I'm pretty?" Kageyama asks, but it's less incredulous and more...  _awed._ There's a kind of dumbstruck expression on his dumb face, and his cheeks are getting progressively pinker, and, okay, fine, so he’s pretty. Definitely pretty. Maybe the prettiest person Hinata's ever seen.

He either has the best taste in the world, or the very worst.

He fidgets a little more and then thinks, what the heck, if Kageyama was going to fight him he'd have already done it by now, so what does Hinata have to lose? "Why do you care if I think you're pretty, anyway?" he asks Kageyama, narrowing his eyes.

The unreadable expression on Kageyama's face disappears, replaced with his usual glare. He looks away from Hinata— _finally—_ and mumbles, "Because I think you're pretty, too."

Okay _—what?_

 _Sure,_ Hinata's maybe seen Kageyama staring at him sometimes—a couple of times—okay, a lot of the time (but, to be fair, the only reason why Hinata was aware of the staring was because he'd been staring  _back_ ). But if you'd told him, at this time last year, that Kageyama Tobio would be calling him  _pretty,_ cheeks flushed and eyes nervously flitting around—

"Say something, Hinata," Kageyama snaps abruptly, but his voice is less biting and more anxious.

Hinata presses his fingers to his face. His normal, average, teenage boy face, which is growing warmer by the second. "You think I'm pretty?" he asks. He still kind of feels like this might just be his overactive imagination playing tricks on him.

"I just said so, dumbass!" Kageyama barks. Never mind, then.

"You're the dumbass, dumbass," Hinata snarks back, out of habit more than anything. He pauses for a second. "...You really think I'm pretty?" he asks again, just to make sure.

Kageyama growls frustratedly and nods, his face furious red now. Holy shit, how is this actually happening.

"Does that mean," Hinata says slowly, excitement building up inside him like magma in a volcano, starting in his chest and trickling upwards. Those eggs are never getting touched again. "Does that mean you wanna kiss me too?"

Kageyama ducks his head, ever so slightly. "I—yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"You  _think_ so?" Hinata asks sceptically, because he  _knows_ Kageyama Tobio and he knows he doesn’t do things without being completely, one hundred percent cent certain about them.

Kageyama seems to think so too, because he says, more firmly, "Yeah, I think—no, I definitely want to—"

He cuts himself off, and wipes his palms to his pants. "I wanna kiss you." He flushes a little more. "Stupid," he adds quickly.

Hinata positively  _beams._ ”So you’re gonna date me?”

“Well,” Kageyama says. “Yeah. If you want to.”

“I do,” Hinata says, his brain still reeling a little from how the situation turned out. He’d call it luck, but then he and Kageyama don’t believe in luck. “I do, I do.”

He grins at Kageyama, wide and sunny. Kageyama smiles back, mouth quirking up at the corners. That dumb smile could make a grade schooler cry. Hinata loves that dumb smile. He feels like he could live in that smile.

“...So what now?” Kageyama asks.

“Uh,” Hinata says. “I dunno.” He does know what dating entails, he’s seen enough couples to know the kind of things they’re supposed to do, but the idea of him and Kageyama doing any of the stuff the other couples ( _other_ couples, implying that they’re now a couple, which, yes, they’re actually a _couple_ , holy crap) in their grade do is kind of gross, not to mention frightening. Maybe he’ll just... be natural. Act like he normally would around Kageyama. Take it slow.

“...Hey, so what’s the most number of times you’ve puked in one day?”

“Thrice. I think.”

“Ha, I beat you!”

“What?!”

“Four times! _Four times,_ Kageyama! I win!”

“Over my dead body, dumbass!”

 

*****

 

It’s eight in the evening, and they are in the general store buying toothpaste. Yes, toothpaste. Because Kageyama is anal about kissing hygiene, it turns out, and a big mean hypocrite, and Hinata has no idea why he’s dating him (dating! _Dating!_ ).

“I don’t get it,” Hinata says petulantly as they head to the billing counter. “Your breath stinks as well.”

“Four times, Hinata.” Kageyama sets the toothpaste down on the counter. “You puked _four times_ today.”

“You didn’t seem that grossed out when I told you earlier,” Hinata mutters. Of course he didn’t, because he’s gross as well, gross and stinky and a giant hypocrite.

“I didn’t know it was _today!_ ” Kageyama glares. “I’m not kissing you until you brush your teeth.”

“Well, let’s just wait until tomorrow then,” Hinata says, even though that’s the last thing he wants to do.

Kageyama flushes and looks away. “I don’t—want to wait.”

Hinata stares at him for a couple of seconds, before breaking into an impossibly wide grin. “I can’t believe you just said that, Kageyama!”

“Shut up, you want to do this as well,” Kageyama snaps. He glances back at Hinata and his tone softens the slightest bit. “Don’t you?”

Hinata beams and nods, that strange feeling thrumming through his veins again. “I do,” he says. He feels like he’s been saying that a lot. It feels kind of nice.

They’ve finished paying for the toothpaste, and the cashier hands Hinata back his change. Kageyama swipes the toothpaste off the counter and tosses it to Hinata. “Then brush your teeth, dipshit.”

“Fine, jackass,” Hinata says, but he’s still grinning. “Where are we going?”

He holds the door open for Kageyama as they leave the store, which earns him an angry hair tug but hey, it was totally worth it. He’s dating someone. He gets to hold doors open for his boyfriend ( _boyfriend_ , Kageyama is his _boyfriend_ , what the heck).

“How should I know?” Kageyama replies, which Hinata should have expected. “Where do people go when they want to kiss?”

“Like, a romantic spot, I think.” Their feet are moving on autopilot now, taking them across town. “Like maybe the place where they met.”

Kageyama gives him a look. “Sendai’s too far away.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Hinata agrees. “I don’t know. On TV they always kiss outside. In the rain.”

Kageyama wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, that’s not happening. I’d rather not catch pneumany.”

“What the heck is _pneumany_ , idiot,” Hinata laughs. “It’s _pnowmonia,_ god.”

“Whatever,” Kageyama says. “I heard people kiss behind buildings and stuff.”

“What for?”

“To, uh, stay hidden, I think.”

“So they kiss behind buildings?”

“Anywhere they can stay hidden. Bathrooms, closets, abandoned stairways—”

“You read shoujo manga, don’t you.”

“What—! Shut up!”

“You totally do, don’t you, Kageyama? That’s—wait, where are we?”

Hinata stops in his tracks and glances around, and Kageyama follows suit. They’d been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn’t even noticed where their feet were taking them. But, to be fair, there really was only one place their feet could’ve taken them.

“The volleyball court,” Kageyama says, looking awed. “Of course.”

“You do realize that the school closes by eight, right? So technically we’re breaking and entering,” Hinata points out, but he’s grinning.

Kageyama merely shrugs. “We’ve done this before, haven’t we,” he says, and bends down a little so Hinata can get onto his shoulders and do their usual breaking-and-entering trick. Right, this is why Hinata is dating him.

He’s right—they _have_ done this before. Except all the previous times they were breaking in to play volleyball, and now they’re breaking in to... well. Hinata flushes. Suddenly, the thought of getting onto Kageyama’s shoulders seems very frightening.

He backs away. “Do it yourself,” he says.

“ _What?_ How am I supposed to reach the latch by myself?”

“I don’t know, you figure it out,” Hinata says quickly. “I need to—need to brush my teeth.”

He darts behind the building before Kageyama can ask how he’s going to brush his teeth outside the gym, and without any water. The thing is, he’s starting to get a little scared now. Kissing seemed fine when it was just him and his fantasies, but now this is really happening, and Kageyama is _right here._ Hinata can’t kiss. Hinata’s never kissed anyone before. Kissing is so weird and complicated—he has to mash his mouth against Kageyama’s, but he has to mash it _right_. What if he doesn’t mash it right? What if Kageyama gets grossed out and breaks up with him. What if he _bites_ Kageyama? Fuck. Why did he think he could do this? His stomach is twisting again. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ —

“Hinata?”

Crap.

“What!” Hinata says, immediately on the defensive.

To his surprise, though, Kageyama doesn’t snap back like he normally would. Instead, he looks... Hinata can’t tell. Uncomfortable?

He gives Hinata a long look, his face doing that searching-for-words thing again. His jaw clenches and unclenches. Hinata drums his fingers at his sides, jittery and nervous.

Finally Kageyama shouts, “Are you okay!”

He probably didn’t mean to shout, but it’s abrupt enough that it startles Hinata into screeching, “Yes! I’m fine!” Kageyama then shushes him, because he’s a dirty hypocrite. Hinata cocks his head at him. “Why?”

“Because,” Kageyama mumbles, “you don’t seem fine.”

“Hahahaha, what do you mean by that?” Hinata says frantically. “I’m totally fine. Look at me. I’m fine. Are you fine?” Has Kageyama figured out that Hinata has no idea what the _fuck_ he’s doing? Oh, no.

Kageyama drops his gaze, and his brow wrinkles, creasing his forehead. One, two, three, four creases. He looks impossibly vulnerable, and Hinata’s heart is doing a weird hop-skip-jump thing inside his chest.

“No,” Kageyama admits. “No, I’m not completely fine. I’m really nervous.”

Wait—what?

“What?” Hinata says.

Kageyama sighs. “I’ve never done this kind of stuff before. I don’t think I know what I’m supposed to do.”

Kageyama’s _nervous_. Kageyama is _nervous_. Kageyama Tobio gets nervous at the thought of kissing Hinata. The thought is so strangely emboldening that Hinata’s back straightens up of its own volition.

“And you seem so... weird?” Kageyama continues. “I don’t want to—to force you into kissing me, or anything—”

“Stupid!” Hinata yells before his mind can completely catch up. “ _I_ asked you out, didn’t I? _I_ said I wanted to kiss you, didn’t I?”

Kageyama’s eyes are impossibly wide. He looks shocked, and that pisses Hinata off _so much_ , because hasn’t he made his feelings clear already?

“Don’t doubt yourself like that, it’s weird! It’s creepy!” he tells Kageyama, pointing an accusing finger at him. He’s only half-speaking to Kageyama—the other half is for himself, because if he wants to have what he wants then he needs to go and _take it_ , you’d think he’d have learnt this by now. “Sure, you don’t know how to kiss. But I don’t know how to kiss either.” He takes a deep breath. “And we’ll probably suck at it at the beginning but we sucked at our quicks at the beginning, didn’t we? And look how that turned out.”

Kageyama’s back has straightened out, too. “Practice,” he says, eyes shining and doing weird yucky things to Hinata’s heart. “Practice is key.”

“Exactly,” Hinata says. “Practice.”

Kageyama looks at Hinata. Hinata looks at Kageyama.

In the end, they never did manage to get that gym door open.

Kageyama steps forward. “You haven’t brushed your teeth yet.”

Hinata grins up at him, cheeky and knowing. “You’re still going to kiss me, though.”

“...Shit. I am.”

“And you’re going to keep kissing me, even if my breath smells bad.”

“Shit, I am.”

“And you’ll toss to me every day, and we’ll go to the Olympics.”

“...Shut up and kiss me, Hinata.”

So he does.

 

**********

 

 

 


End file.
